lately my thoughts have begun to feel as if they have meaning, no destination, no purpose, no reason as to why they occupy my mind and my heart. mind and heart always go hand in hand. they are partners, they were made to collaborate with each other and to work together in order to express one another's desire. plainly, mind and heart mirror one another's yearnings. and so i came to conclude that my thoughts reflect my heart; i felt like i have no meaning, no destination, no purpose, and no reason to occupy this earth. i'm... useless. i became sick at the thought that i was doing nothing. i was sitting pretty and i was in the most ridiculous way okay with it. meanwhile two thousand and eight years ago a man named Jesus Christ shed His blood and died on a tree.. for me. He shed His blood so that i could do what was doing today. then as this began to marinate in my mind, i became even more sick at the thought that what i was doing today was absolutely nothing. sickening. i was slipping back to my comfort zone and relying on the things i was so sure and so comfortable with to console me and reassure me that i could trust in myself and my own accomplishments. WRONG. why must i always be so stupid?
the answer is in my pride and my selfishness.
